Friday, December 13, 2019

Old Aphorisms

Bet a few will make you smile.

A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation: 

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2 Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humour you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company  can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10.  No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m - for example, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print - there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

18. Money can't buy happiness but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Ford.

19. After 70, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people who matter don't mind and the ones who mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow but it's still a gift.

7 comments:

drjim said...

Thanks for the smiles!

Still fighting this $$%%@@ cold....

LSP said...

Well that was cheerful and made a change from looking at reports of UK traitor MPs losing their seats, which was also cheery but still.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Been lucky so far this winter.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

LSP
Must put a smile on an expat's face.

LL said...

Have a splendid weekend, WSF

Old NFO said...

Concur with all!!! :-)

Well Seasoned Fool said...

LL
Possibility for a wee bit of romance tomorrow! Short road trip.

OldNFO
Not much to argue.