Monday, August 19, 2019

Well Known Laws

An email from a friend.






  1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.
Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.
Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.
Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are 
with someone you don't want to be seen with.


8.
Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.
Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times 
to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.


11.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.
Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.
Law of LogicalArgument Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15.
 Law of Physical Appearance If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16.
Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17.
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.
Doctors' Law If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick. 
19.E-mail’s Law - If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew - and your butt will fall off.  Really, it's true. I read it on the Internet .

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Excuses


Working like a Hebrew slave is my excuse for sparse blogging. One part time job 3 ½ days a week has me getting up at 0300 and not getting home until 1945. My insurance gig has been sparse but recently picking up.

Why, at age 75, am I doing this? In one part, because I can. This body is way past warranty expiration and who knows how long it will function without a major breakdown? In another part, squirreling nuts against the coming winter. I have no desire to be on the road come snow season except when I want to be and on my terms. In another part, have put a dent in the financial reserves and want to get those back to a comfortable level.

So now, for a shotgun approach.

Hemp

Some antiquated laws have been changed and farmers can grow hemp. This is a field about ½ square mile I drive past on the way to work.


Monsoon Season

After a hard winter and wet springs, we have entered the fall monsoon season. Colorado hasn’t been this green for years. It does make for some interesting clouds.



The Great Western Railroad

A local Northern Colorado feeder line between the BNSF line in Fort Collins and the Union Pacific line in Greeley, both of the big boys use it from time to time.

Highway 287

Work took me today to Bailey, CO to do a visual (from the street) property inspection/report and take three pictures. Paid $93. Hwy 287 is a nasty, mainly two lane highway connecting metro Denver with Southwest Colorado. Sunday it is jammed with recreationists headed back to metro Denver. One bad accident and it can be closed for hours.

Guanella Pass

Up the road from Bailey at Grant is a 24 mile road to Georgetown,  CO over Guanella Pass. Since I haven’t been over it in years, decided to reroute my trip back to base over it. Much improved, paved all the way, and with new stout guardrails in the nastiest spots, it was a relaxing diversion.





On the Georgetown side a “longboard” race had the road closed but I was only delayed about 30 minutes.

Interstate 70

Like Hwy 287, jammed with returning recreationists. The difference? Three lanes and broad shoulders. A wreck, unless a total wipeout, doesn’t close it down.

Cabellas

Walked in, around, and out without buying anything. That has never happened before.

Rants

The schedule has cut into my reading time, and the number or articles that can get my maverick Celtic blood boiling. I’m going to catch up this winter. Can’t have LL beating me to the bunk nearest the stove!

OOPS


More Guanella Pass snaps. I’m too tired to figure out how to move them.





Wednesday, August 14, 2019

August Road Trip


The client had two important assignments in Northwest Colorado that they were willing to generously compensate to handle.

Loathing the tourist traffic on I-70 and  the “recreationist” infesting Colorado 14 in the Poudre Canyon, I elected to go through Wyoming to Laramie then via Walden to US 40. Many folks from my maternal side of the family are buried in Walden and I stopped to pay my respect







One property the client wanted inspected is abandoned. It is in an area of second or even third homes. Good luck in selling that!


The trip took me past the Carpenter Ranch east of Hayden, CO. Once had the finest hay meadows in Routt County, the heirs of Ferry Carpenter, a man of many accomplishments, deeded it to the Greenies. As per usual, the Greenies talk to talk but are too lazy to walk the walk.


I was able to carve out an hour to visit the museum in Craig, CO, a subject of an earlier post.

All in all, an interesting trip through country I spent my teens.

Being late in the day, went up to I-80 in Wyoming and back through Cheyenne to I-25 and then home. Added 45 minutes to the trip but no mountain passes, tourist traffic, and less demanding driving.

A road I’ve traveled scores of time, Rabbit Ears Pass can kill you if you insist on being stupid. There is not one foot of flat road on the West side. Coming up Muddy Pass, a nice 3 point buck in velvet strolled across the road. Only deer seen on the trip but did see numerous Pronghorns.

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Sorry, Cali

Today, Northern Colorado.

Custer Colt


A neat museum in Craig, CO has a verified “Custer Colt”, that is to say it was carried at one time by an officer in his command but lost/stolen/mislaid prior to the massacre at Greasy Grass.



The museum has an extensive collection of old firearms and cowboy gear. Forbearers from my father’s side lived in the area from the late 19th Century on.  They were connected to many of the names in the exhibits.

Quality of the photographs is poor, taken with a point and shoot, and the workman wasn’t even up to the level of his tool.


























The museum is located in the old State Armory, and entrance is free. They are facing a funding crisis. Blessedly, there is a small but serviceable elevator as the firearms are on the second floor and the restrooms in the basement, important considerations for those of us with a few miles.

Business took me to Craig, and I didn’t have much time to linger. A future post will cover the road trip.