Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Shamless Plagiarism

A collection, from blogs, Facebook, and emails of things that made me snort, or shake my head. Some of you may recognize this as your material. My apologizes if I don't credit you. Only one of these is my creation. Hope you all enjoy!

Think I'd better go do some cleaning. Just saw a segment on the Today program about a person who hadn't cleaned their house for some 17 years. Guess, I'm not so bad even if Good Housekeeping will only let me have their magazine in my home without the cover.

Big Steve has all the personality (and personal aroma) of curdled milk, and the welcoming mien of a semi-rabid stoat with inflamed hemorrhoids.

And here is the weather forecast. Tomorrow will be muggy. Followed by Toogy, Weggy, Thurgy and Frigy.” - Unknown

Sipsey Street joins White House in objecting to Mark Halperin's characterization of Obama as "a dick."
Nothing could be further from the truth. He is, in fact, dickless.

I think the plan worked. The extra guns, Mexicans shoot each other and less illegals crossing the border.

I don't hate obama because of his race. There are too many other good reasons to hate him .

Based on Weis' vast amount of experience as a law enforcement officer... He will be able to add nothing to this group.

You might think good transportation is the key to prosperity, but Colorado doesn't work that way.

President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States ...”

It’s pretty difficult to preach against sin without offending the offenders.

the advice retired Detroit Police Department cop Evan Marshal once gave: “Continue shooting until your sight picture is degraded by a lack of target.”

, 'sweetheart, the world is large and you're insignificant so do whatever the hell ya want because no one will give two hootin' shits about it tomorrow!'

Don’t be in a place where you will have to defend yourself.
If trouble comes your way, run.
If you can’t run, grab the closest thing you can and use it as a weapon.

She and reality pass each other in the hall twice a day.

Of all the things I have to deal with at work, I NEVER imagined projectile vomiting would be one of them. That all changed today. Nasty
Well that's one thing to check off of the life experiences list.

So anyone who has been trying to reach me may have noticed I have been unresponsive. No, I am not playing hard to get. Silly smart phone thought it could swim.
There isn't an app for that?
Yes..its called "Insurance"..sigh


FDIL said...

LMAO!!! One of these days "she and reality" may finally recognize each other and realize how much they've missed each other. LOL

Anonymous said...

I don't believe that would ever happen. That would entail paying attention to something other than the "voices".


Old NFO said...

LOL- All good ones, especially the reality one :-)