Friday, June 21, 2019

Not A Life Well Lived

June 20th received a call from the Greenville, S.C. County Deputy Coroner. “Sir, do you know Karen Regina Larsen?”

My former wife. Death notice. Needs to contact next of kin. That would be one of my two surviving sons.

Cause of death; perforated colon leading to septic shock.

This was a woman with enormous talents whose life choices lead to her spending her final days in a charity nursing home estranged from her children and grandchildren, friendless, and broke. Such a waste.

The 1964 book, Games People Play by Eric Berne, M.D. has a chapter entitled, “Now I’ve Got You, You Son-of-a-bitch”, that was her lifelong approach to interpersonal relationships. What she never acknowledged was there is a limit to how long people will play. In my case, 22 years.

I’m not her next of kin so that burden will fall on my middle son. I will give him advice, if wanted, but the decisions will be his. My guess the state will bury her in some potter’s field with no mourners.

For myself, I have little feeling left. The last time I saw her was the day after my youngest son’s funeral. My daughter-in-law, who had her in her household off and on for several years, didn’t want to cope with her and asked me to handle the situation. She was ten months younger than me and looked ten years older.

My concern at this point is solely with my sons. They are tough men and will handle her death as they have handled other problems in their lives.

Her 14 year old cat, “Pinky”, now lives with my daughter-in-law who also cleaned out the apartment after the move to the nursing home.

An older blog post still sums up my feelings.

Several family members occasionally read this blog and this post is as much for them as for me.

No condolences are need for me but, if you are inclined, give a thought to her sons. Thank you.


Sisty said...

I have no feelings left for my ex sister-in-law. She made her decisions and was responsible for her actions. A lifetime of drinking soda (pop) on a daily basis in the 1/2 to full case per day area did not do any good to her body. I am glad that Pinky is in a safe place to be loved & cared for. The remaining nephews are always in my prayers as they learn the new reality in their lives.


Well Seasoned Fool said...

A lifetime of medical visits and a lifetime of disregarding medical advice!

Coffeypot said...

Get some use out of her for a change. Donate her body to the Body Farm in TN.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

I'll pass that on to my son.

Old NFO said...

Prayers for the boys.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Thank you.

LL said...

Life doesn't offer participation trophies. Some people think that it does and they end up being disappointed. You need to put yourself out there for others, to love without condition and to be kind - as kind as you can be - in order to make it worthwhile. Some people can't get it. They aren't wired for it, I think.

Compassion (as much as can be mustered) for them and for the lives that they were indifferent toward, is called for.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Wise words.

Brig said...

We are impacted by those that touch our lives be it good or bad. Compassion and prayers for the sons and you.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Thank you. Hard not to think of what might have been/should have been but I fight it.