Al Gore's Fault, Don't You Know

After a long hot dry spell, the end of July has been, in cowboy terms, plumb interesting. Hail and tornado have hit hard and we aren’t even into the usual monsoon season.

Sunday drove a few blocks to a Safeway store. A few fat raindrops should have alerted me. Suddenly it sounded like buckshot hitting my truck. Ducked under the gas station canopy where I was soon joined by around twenty other drivers. Twenty minutes later it was all over. Thirty minutes later the sky was nearly clear of clouds.

North towards Cheyenne twice last week snowplows were needed to clear I-25.

Rodeo competitors are tough people. The show goes on regardless of the weather. You can choose to compete or not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XND6hepA358

Sunday a tornado went through Brush, CO causing a lot of damage including the small airport. Hit about the same time as the hail storm that hit us.

Monday my business took me through Brush. Sorry, no photographs. What residents dealing with the aftermath don’t need are gawkers. Today, my sister, the insurance adjuster, is on scene. She is having a busy summer.

For those interested:

http://www.fortmorgantimes.com/fort-morgan-local-news/ci_32041141/high-winds-cause-major-loss-area-farmers

http://www.fortmorgantimes.com/fort-morgan-local-news/ci_32041137/come-hell-or-high-water

https://www.9news.com/article/weather/weather-colorado/brush-airport-damaged-by-possible-tornado/73-578618504

The area and counties to the east have many tornados.

https://www.coloradoan.com/story/news/2016/06/02/forget-tornado-alley-weld-county-no-1-twisters/85308258/

The Windsor tornado mentioned damaged a pickup of mine. Not far away, an anvil was found in a tree, about 275’ from the non-existent shop building that housed it.

Being out and about in the area frequently, I try to do my business in the early morning hours. By 1 or 2 p.m. I want to be back in town.

All around the area, auto hail repair operations have set up big tents in parking lots and their employees are filling local motels and restaurants. Today I accused an acquaintance who solicits commercial roofing jobs of seeding the clouds to produce bigger storms.

Smiling, he said, “It’s working”.

The Foothills

The foothills on the East side of Colorado’s Front Range are rugged. The grit and determination of the prospectors and miners that exploited them is a lesson in perseverance. One of the towns from that era is the hamlet of Ward, CO. 

Now a place for counter culture/hippie/survivalists, it is a harsh 35-45 mile commute to anyplace with decent jobs down Left Hand Canyon, two lanes wide with numerous 20 mph corners.

Business took me once again to Nederland, CO. Not wanting to again experience the horrid driving experience of the capitol city of the People’s Republic of Boulder I opted for the longer route up Left Hand Canyon.

The foothills attract hordes of Tour de France wannabes. While you can admire their fitness, sharing the road with them is a royal PITA.

FLYING THE FRONT RANGE

Many pilots come to grief crossing the Continental Divide. During part of the trip, I had a good view of Devil’s Thumb Pass, the fatal scene of a pilot I knew. A former military, current airline pilot, an  owner of a North American T-6 with a P&W R1340 engine and a rate of climb of 1,100’ per minute, he attempted to cross Devil’s Thumb East to West. 

Was about 150’ too low. Further, the impact site suggested he hit 90° to the ridgeline.

Local knowledge teaches which passes to transit West to East, which to transit East to West, and which ones to avoid completely (Independence Pass near Aspen). Further, approach the pass at 45° to shorten a retreating turn.

He left a widow, two small sons, and a hell of a mess for his friends to clean up.

Those mountain waves are powerful. One time, flying a Cessna 180 configured for a 600’ per minute descent, we were climbing 1800’ per minute.

(For pilots, idle power, 40° flaps, 60 mph IAS, carb heat on)

LESSON LEARNED?

Don’t accept any more assignments in the foothills. Reality?  If the money is right……….

Not Unalaska

Nowhere near the Unalaska police blotter but you may find some amusing. From the local rag.

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following is a summary of crime reports taken from the Greeley Police Department's daily logs. Only a few of the hundreds of reports will be used in this weekly column because of space limitations.

July 15

» 8:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 5900 block of 23rd Street for a report of cows mooing excessively.

There ought to be a law against this!

» 10:30 p.m.: Police responded to 8th Avenue and 13th Street for a report of a man in the middle of the road trying to steal the pylons.

No NO, picking the State Flower.

July 16

» 7:15 a.m.: Police responded to the picnic area of Ramseier Farm for a report of a man screaming at passersby while defecating in the park.

Can’t a man have a little privacy, perverts!

» 4 p.m.: Police responded to the 2000 block of 1st Avenue to talk to a man who thought a neighbor was harassing him by subscribing him to Stroke Smart, National Wild Turkey Federation, and Adam & Eve magazines.

Preemptive strike before his wife sees the mail.

July 17

» 4 a.m.: Police responded to the 2300 block of 21st Avenue for a report of a man trying to steal a golf cart from the caller's backyard.

Well, the owner wasn’t using it.

» 6:30 a.m.: Police responded to the 2800 block of 15th Avenue Court for a report of a domesticated pheasant on the porch that was uninjured, but possibly a little hungry.

Call PETA!!!

July 18

8:45 p.m.: Police responded to Bittersweet Park for a report of an aggressive guinea pig on the loose.

Keep that vicious beast on a leash, for Pete’s sake.

8 a.m.: Police responded to the 2500 block of 16th Street for a report of an intoxicated woman hiding behind parked cars and trees, and having difficulty walking straight.

Just trying to have a discrete pee.

» 5:45 p.m.: Police responded to the 500 block of 11th Avenue for a report of a man staring off into space.

Wouldn’t share what he was seeing.

» 9:15 p.m.: Police responded to the 1600 block of 9th Avenue for a report of blue and red lights streaking across the sky. The caller wanted to know if the police sent the lights out "to monitor all of the cars" or "to have the sky watched?"

Drat, another undercover operation blown.

July 19

» 1 a.m.: Police responded to the 1600 block of 16th Street for a report of a male and a female duck walking behind some bushes carrying a trash bag.

Easier to police trash on the ground without excessive bending. What is your problem?

» 3:45 p.m.: Police responded to the 800 block of 31st Avenue for a report of a kitten covered in poop.

Call animal control.

» 4 p.m.: A resident in the 2200 block of Ash Avenue called Weld County Dispatch to complain about one of his neighbor's parking his car in front of the caller's house. The caller was advised that parking on the street is not illegal.

Round one.

» 4 p.m.: A child called 911 to report to dispatchers, "There is sand in my butt and it is super glued. Can you get it out?" The child was grounded by her parents for crank calling the police.

Parents with common sense?

"Fake" News

Actual call at 4:32 am. Most reports have been changed to 4:20 am.

https://www.greeleytribune.com/news/crime/weed-grow-op-destroyed-by-fire-in-ft-lupton-early-monday-morning/

Curmudgeoning

Big whoop in the local daily rag about a yuge water project set to go.

 ttps://www.greeleytribune.com/news/local/massive-northern-colorado-water-supply-project-hits-major-milestone-with-army-corps-environmental-impact-statement/

Yep, fourteen years in the making. The Army Corp of Engineers finally got off their asses. Implication is the project is near shovel ready. Fat chance. Soon the, “Friends of the albino prairie dogs”, or other such groups will file suit. Another five to ten years of permit gathering, betcha.

TAILGATERS

Every Saturday I drive US 85 North from Cheyenne to the intersection of  Wyoming 151 then East. WY 151 becomes Nebraska 88 and dead ends at NE 71 where I turn North and go to Scottsbluff.

You will be hard pressed to find a more open road with numerous passing opportunities including dedicated passing lanes. Still, I get tailgaters sitting on my ass one second behind.

 Consider, I’m paid by the hour and don’t work for Monfort so any speeding tickets are on me. Ergo, I have no incentive to speed and some asshole on my bumper isn’t pushing me one mile faster on cruise control. The speed limit is 70 mph and my speed, verified by my Magellan, is 73 mph, one mile below the authorities’ tolerance point. All these people are doing is making me spend time checking them in the mirror instead of watching ahead for Bambi. Truly, people baffle me.

RUSSIA

A man I worked with for years like to say,

 “Intelligent people, given enough factual information, can change their mind”.

He was wrong. Intelligent people are more likely to believe, “It is a FACT, I said it”.

Countries are always interfering in other elections. What has come out so far is the Russian effort was laughable. Their bribing of Hillary and Bill, on the other hand, was quite successful, in my opinion based on facts others have gathered. YMMV

BLUE WAVE

Feverishly wanted by the deep state operators who never though their chicanery would see the light of day. An eight year Trump presidency might eventually shed some light on the $500+ million missing at HUD. We will see the movers and shakers become the cockroaches running from the light. Blue wave?  How about a red tide?

So  how was your week?

MONFORT

About the “Monfort” remark. When the Monfort family was still owners of meat processing plants, they provided their drivers with overpowered trucks and paid their speeding tickets. Truckers soon began to call the inside Interstate Highway lane, “The Monfort lane”.

Extreme Rustproofing

The owner told me the entire vehicle in coated with Line-X bed liner top and bottom.

And a good idea I haven't seen for awhile.

Business card holder fairly weatherproof on the outside window.

I truly enjoy "doers"! Color outside those lines folks, progress and innovation can be small or large steps. You don't need to be an apathetic ass sitter.

Butthurt

Well whoop de doo, President Trump ruffled some feathers in Helsinki. Now politicians of every stripe are trying for attention. Chance to get their name out in front of the voters for free.

My take is President Trump dismissed the whole issue as trivial. That is, the Russian attempts were so pathetic as to not warrant a lot of attention.

Colorado’s two Senators, GoAlongtoGetAlong (D) and GoAlongtoGetAlong (R) are braying along with the rest of the pack.

President Trump reminds me of several people I worked with or for. Irritating as hell on a personal level and very effective on a business level. Fill my rice bowl and you can be all you can be asshole wise.

Think you can be a dominant success and be universally loved? How about Bill Belichick, New England Patriots.

As someone who won’t suffer fools, gladly or in any other way, I admire the man. So refreshing to hear something other than rehearsed focus group tested sound bites.  That is not to say I like him. See the second paragraph above.

The man today is the same man that was the candidate. When did that last happen?

Time Sink

What a time trap this Internet can become. This morning reading the Greeley Tribune online and the weekly “100 Years Ago”, came across this item.

A Denver man was arrested in Greeley for possession of 15 gallons of whiskey. His car, a Drummond Eight, had a large copper tank hidden under the rear seat with a faucet coming out underneath. His customers could fill their whiskey glasses by holding them under the auto.

Drummond Eight? Never heard of it. Google and Bing to the rescue.

http://american-automobiles.com/Drummond.html

https://northomahahistory.com/2016/06/23/a-short-history-of-the-douglas-motors-company-factory-in-north-omaha-nebraska/

Along the way looked at this site. Big mistake.

https://wikivividly.com/wiki/List_of_defunct_United_States_automobile_manufacturers

Beechcraft made automobiles! Yep, two in 1948. Aircraft engine driving a generator driving electric motors at the wheels.

Glanced at the clock and realized I had twelve minutes to make a 10 am appointment. Started looking at all this “stuff”  just after 7 am.

Damned fool supplement

Neighbor, mid 40’s, beta male with a drinking problem parks next to me in our assigned spots. A casual acquaintance but he asked me for car buying advice. After some discussion, referred him to an old colleague who fixed him up with a nice ride.

A month later?

Shit for brains still drinks and drives.

Summertime Fools

Summer driving in farm country has an occasional hazard not found the rest of the year. Harvest convoys.

With the cost of a combine, used three weeks a year, approaching a half million, many farmers opt to hire out the work.  These crews travel the back roads in mile long convoys of over width combines on flatbed trucks pulling the harvesting heads on another trailer, long grain hauling semi trucks, large travel trailers, etc., and miscellaneous trucks of all kinds.

They move along at a good clip but there is always some damn fool (me, for example) that wants to pass them.

Yesterday I was headed South from Kimball, NE on Highway 71 to the intersection with Colorado 14 when I met a harvest convoy going North. Highway 71 has no shoulders, just two blacktop lanes with ditches on each side.

Yessir, the damn fool tried to pass the convoy. This not being my first rodeo, I was on alert and immediately stood on the brakes slowing me down enough to go in the ditch at a slow enough speed not to roll or even damage the precious Toyota Yaris (with 263,000 on the odo).

My apologies for the borrowed photos as I was a tad too busy to take my own.

Bad Bars and Shuffleboard

My recent post on the Greeley Police Blotter may give the impression Greeley is a tame town. Not so, and not in the past.

1967-1968 found me ferrying single engine general aviation airplanes for Dirty Dick Nolan, Nolan Aviation, Greeley, CO in order to build flying hours without renting or owning an airplane. Dick offered fuel, oil, and a bus ticket back as compensation but kept you busy. He did pay for repos.

Here I met Bill S____, an 11^th Air Assault group veteran, fellow time builder, and one time Norte Dame football player. We each had a room at an $8 a week flop house in Greeley and had sleeping bags for nights out of town.

One night we were both in Greeley and hit one of the bars along the tracks for a beer. The place had a shuffleboard and Bill and I started to amuse ourselves. I had never played and he was giving me pointers. Two individuals were watching and decided to interject themselves in our activity. One lined up all four pucks across the very end of the table, one on each corner, and two midway across. He went on to explain it was impossible to knock all four off with one shot. Me, not knowing better, let fly and all four went off the table. Yeah, couldn’t do that again in a hundred tries.

The puck setterupper became prody, got in my face, and got knocked on his ass. His buddy jumped in and Bill took care of him. Both of us were fairly fresh from the Army and had served in units with daily fights the norm. The other two were your basic mouthy bar toughs.

The bartender requested we leave but did allow us to finish our beers. As we left Bill picked up the bar toughs money from their table. When I raised a questioning eyebrow, he explained,

“They lost the bet”.

Strange, I never heard a bet being made. Must have been otherwise occupied.

Unalaska Envy

Rev. Paul (http://mooseintheyard.blogspot.com) often reported snippets from the Unalaska Police Blotter. Unfortunate the officer doing the blotter has taken on other duties and no longer has the time.

Contrast those exciting and interesting events to the mundane events in my town as reported by the Greeley Tribune.

July 2

7:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 500 block of 21st Avenue for a report of an intoxicated man drinking a beer while riding his bike who appeared to be looking for trouble.

10: p.m.: Police responded to the 200 block of North 45th Avenue Court for a report of a man selling doorbells door-to-door. Interestingly, the salesman didn't ring the caller's doorbell but banged on the front door instead.

July 3

6:30 p.m.: Police responded to the 1400 block of 10th Street for a report of a "little jerk head" on a motorized scooter trying to run down people on the sidewalk.

July 4

7:45 p.m.: Police responded to the 2400 block of 24th Street for a report of an intoxicated man who threw himself against a wall when he wasn't given a cigarette.

11:30 p.m.: Police responded to a report of a 14-year-old who would not go home with her parents. Officers provided the parents with resources for parenting help but said they wouldn't parent their child for them if there wasn't a crime.

July 5

1:30 a.m.: Police responded to a fast-food restaurant in the 2400 block of 8th Avenue for a report of an intoxicated man passed out in his pickup with music blaring in the drive-thru lane. Other customers were forced to drive around him.

6:45 a.m.: Police responded to the 2100 block of 28th Street for a report of a man who tried to sell the caller a cutting board and towels. The man left the items on the caller's patio.

9:30 a.m.: Weld County Dispatchers were called about a city of Greeley employee driving and talking on his cellphone near the Family Funplex. The caller didn't want the employee cited but made aware of the laws "the rest of us are supposed to follow."

12:30 p.m.: Police responded to the 1000 block of 5th Street for a report of a stray cat the humane society refused to take because "it smelled like death" and was drooling from its mouth.

2 p.m.: A man with a broken-down car on U.S. 34 near milepost 105 in Greeley called dispatchers and asked them to send a cop with some tools so he could repair his vehicle. The man was advised to call a tow company.

2 p.m.: Police responded to the 400 block of 37th Avenue for a report of a suspicious person. The caller said a man drives into the neighborhood every couple days, looks at the houses and then leaves. The suspicious person was a nurse who regularly checks on the caller.

Perhaps a lower level of alcohol consumption is partly responsible for our more mundane problems? Not to say we don't have our share, just not epic ones.

Fauxahontas

Once again President Trump goes after Elizabeth Warren’s claim to Native American ancestry.

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/trump-challenges-pocahontas-warren-dna-test-prove-she-s-native-n889206

Who doesn’t think she did a DNA test under an assumed name?

The site I used, Ancestry.com, gave me several links to possible relatives. I still get an occasional email from someone with DNA links, usually of the third cousin profile.

I wonder how many users have noticed a relative pop up and wonder, “Who the fuck is this?”

She used her fake minority status to fuel her career. Will it propel her into the White House? Who knows? It has worked for other Presidents, hasn’t it?

Somewhere there must be a close relative of hers that can’t stand her. Have them take the test!

Almost Tempted

Drive by this business on the way to the Post Office. The name has changed but the type of inventory hasn’t.

Since I like older cars, I’m almost tempted to apply for a sales job. Almost, until I bitch slap myself.

They seem to be a little heavy on GM right now. Not my favorite manufacturer. That 1959 Ford Skyliner quickens my pulse.

Whatever

Pushed the limits yesterday and the body said, whoa! Intermittent sleep leads to a rambling blog posting.

DUMB SHITS

Do stupid things, win stupid prizes. Consider this, now deceased, local. About as clean an intersection as you will find. Warning signs galore. A jowl shaker.

https://www.greeleytribune.com/news/local/police-suspect-distracted-driving-caused-fatal-crash-west-of-kersey/

Then we have this rocket scientist who never learned, “Don’t go bothering something that ain’t bothering you”.

https://www.greeleytribune.com/news/local/21-people-treated-for-rabies-after-weld-county-woman-brings-baby-raccoon-into-home/

All the others involved aren’t too bright either.

Their contribution to society must be bad examples. Some may learn from their examples. Nah, dumb shits will be dumb shits.

WHY REVOLVERS?

Because when you pull the trigger they fire. Consider the case of 82 year old Anna Mae Blessing of Arizona. Upset with the idea her 72 year old son might put her in a care facility; she shot him twice, fatally. Lost in the clutter of details is the revolver she used was last fired, according to her, in the 1970’s.

FIREWORKS?

Ban or no, fireworks were going off in my neighborhood yesterday. Sounded puny compared to the overhead thunderstorm.

WILDFIRES

A bad year again in Colorado. The screen shot is just major fires. 

 Many more smaller fires.

https://www.craigdailypress.com/news/summer-2018-wildfire-report-for-northwest-colorado-for-july-3/

Every state has fires but I only live in one. Part of nature, in the long view, but in the short view let’s blame Al Gore.