My middle son is 47 today. Being charitable, he is a strange ranger. That is fine with me; I raised my sons to be their own men. He is deep into a genre of music I don’t understand, black metal, death metal, etc. He has several “zines” or blogs. One is on my sidebar. He receives music from all over the world to review. Outside his circle of friends, he is non social. A hard worker, he is well into his fourth year of sobriety. I’m glad; his last DUI arrest (7 years ago) required six Denver policeman to place him in the back of a squad car. One marriage. May be the father of a son. That is now in the courts as he fights to establish paternity.
Big contrast with my first born who will be 50 next month. I’ve written before about his autism and those complications.
I’ve written before about my youngest, the Medic, who died at age 41 last St. Patrick’s Day from complications from his Army service.
They were a handful to raise and still need to vent about life with their father from time to time.
19 comments:
I'm sure that they're all proud of you, WSF.
LL
Maybe. They do speak to me even when they don't need money.
I'm sure they know how proud of them you are.
Raising kids... boys or girls, yep. The very definition of handful.
Ami
Yes, I'm a proud father. They won't steal, aren't bullies cruel, or physical with females. The birthday boy operates on his father's principal, "Don't fuck with me. Fuck with me, and I will fuck you up".The youngest was a warrior. All three, "manly men".
No easy thing raising boys, even if mostly at a remove in my case. Mind you, LL might say the same thing about daughters. Possibly more of a worry...
Congrats on your son's sobriety and what is it with Death Metal? My eldest was into that, maybe still is, but the youngest would scorn him, "Don't you know no one listens to that?!?"
Well, they make their own choices as do we!
The two youngest I raised on my own from teeners. After school, they came to the car lot and worked after their homework was done. Spending "quality" time around a bunch of car salesmen probably distorted their view of the world.
One day the youngest was in the bullpen with the Lot Manager and they observed me having an intense discussion with one Artie Pruitt, who had cheated me. Said discussion had me emphasizing my points of view with love taps to his rib cage. Both my son and the Lot Manager agreed they hadn't seen nothing!
That they made something of themselves is a credit to you.
My boy will start crawling in the next few weeks. I aspire to to do right by him and stick around until he's in his forties.
OldNFO
They did the work. I gave the support. Maybe the example.
R
It is a journey. My advice is this. Your example, not your words, will have the greatest impact. What children need most is your time. It doesn't need to be structured. Just include them in as much of what you do as possible. Going to NAPA for parts?Take them with you.
To stop drinking is right up there with quitting smoking. I've done both so I can congratulate middle son on his sobriety. All of your sons are doing/did much better with their life than way too many of our society today. Well done WSF. And send my respects to the boys.
Thank you.
Raising girls I have no experience with. Always felt glad my child could not get preggie.
But one boy was tough... I cannot imagine three.
And losing one?
You've done well, WSF.
Respect.
GB
The one I lost knew, and accepted, what he was getting into. With his scores he could have gone a "safe' route. We had discussions before he joined. The issue is with the VA. His left leg was dying from the ankle up. He pressed them for an amputation and they did their usual VA foot dragging b.s. He had chronic reflex pain syndrome.
I would have welcomed a daughter and dote on my granddaughters.
Thank you for the respect. Likewise for your service and what you did after the service.
I didn't get past an evaluation ride - couldn't get the hand of hovering.
I absolutely love and respect my nephews. They are their own person and love cats. Cats love them also. Definitely says something about the intuitive nature of animals.
They are very fond of "Auntie".
The fact they consult you when they need to talk about something worth venting means you were a good Dad and they trust your advice and respect your input. I'm sorry to hear you lost a Son, I can't even imagine that depth of Grief. My Adult Son has Mildly Moderate Autism and is Bipolar, it can be challenging to Mainstream into Society with that to contend with, he's trying to quit self medicating with alcohol and Rx not prescribed. Being charitable to our Loved Ones when they have Issue of Life shows the depth of our unconditional Love as a Parent. I raised all our Kids and the Grandkids I have raised to be their own person. We are a motley crew and that's Okay, that's how we Roll, we aren't your garden variety Family. *winks*
Thank you for commenting. Losing my son was wrenching. Prior to him joining the Army, we had a long talk. We discussed the risks; not just getting killed, but maimed (which happened). We discussed his decision to become a Medic; that it was as dangerous a job as anything in the Army. I pointed out with his smarts and scores, many safer jobs were open to him. His choice, which I respected and supported, as did his wife. He was a warrior.
It sounds as though you laid the ground work for your sons to become responsible men. Can't ask for more than that I'm thinking. Kudos WSF
Thank you!
Post a Comment