Drinking with Dirty Al

Dirty Al appears in many blog entries, because he is both a good friend and a character. He resembles the late actor Lionel Jefferies (Grandpa Potts - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNpWBMNyC0w

When we started working together, he was a widower so I never knew him as anything but a single man quite interested in women. Lets see, there was “the widder”, Joanne, Lisa (a subject of a past blog), and others.

He was back in the car business after a spell as a bail bondsman. One night, after closing, he invited me out for a beer. Off we go to the various places around Auburn, WA. Each place presented a problem. In the parking lot he would recognize a vehicle. Oops, someone’s husband’s car - can’t go in there. Enter a place. No, there are two brothers over there playing pool; revoked bonds on both of them, can’t stay here. This happens about five times. Finally I tell him to find a 7-11, I will get a six pack and we’ll drink in the parking lot. Please understand Al wasn’t afraid of a fight. He is ex Special Forces and was a very good light heavyweight boxer. Our employer was intolerant about salesmen’s extra curricular activities becoming public knowledge (also looking down his wife’s shirts). Ended up that evening without a beer.

Since Al is tired of reading about politics, I guess I could blog about his renting from a daughter’s ex mother in law, hot tubs, the mother in law’s daughter, the mother in law’s male friends, Christmas parties, and large cut glass ashtrays. Maybe not. Probably no general interest in those subjects. We could cover his commercial fisherman days; rescuing people too dumb to turn their fuel spigots on. Perhaps a tattoo, “Marche ou creve” is blog fodder.

Fall is approaching so he will soon, health permitting, be headed South in his Prevost. Should make for some good blogging entries. “Stuff” happens to Al; it is like he is a magnet. I just worry about “Princess”. He works that poor dog night and day. You can see her here

http://wellseasonedfool.blogspot.com/search?q=princess

Car salesmen spend a great deal of time busting each other. As an example, I was recognized by the staff in a grocery store I hadn’t shopped for several years, having moved from the area. Al pipes up, “You mean they still let you in here after being a shoplifter”? My reply, “Al, quit stalling. We still need to get you register as a Sex Offender today”. That shut him up for a few minutes!

Al is fun to be around. Don’t know if he ever met a stranger. Go into any bar or restaurant with him and watch the energy level start rising. He is a good friend, deeply kind and caring, and the best car salesman I’ve ever known. Al sold over 400 Subaru Justy’s, a wretched little shoe box with a three cylinder engine. Seeing his 6’4” frame shoehorned into the back seat of a two door Justy was like something in a clown circus. Didn’t matter the customer had come in looking for a ¾ ton pickup. Subaru paid a tidy bonus directly to the salespeople (bypassing pesky IRS liens and wage garnishments; W-4’s to be dealt with next year). Al was a fan.

So, I am picking on him. Larn him not to have a blog. Hope he has a winter free of propane purchases.

The picture isn’t random; wonder who will pick up on it.

A Story for Dirty Al

What is it with the upper Midwest and spring loaded toilet seats? Regional thing? Really, the only area I encounter them.

Dirty Al says I should tell more stories and do less political stuff so here is a story for Dirty Al, circa 1970.

Our group was going through an intense management course and were given a mystery shopper type of assignment. That lasted just long enough to find a friendly bar where we could strategize. While none of us were small, Bill was NFL lineman sized. After an hour of so, he went to use the sanitary facility.

The facility had a spring loaded seat. Bill locked the stall door. Undoing his garments, he pushed the seat down, turned, and sat down on the bare rim; the seat having returned to the upright position. To his dismay, he was stuck. Compounding his problems was the need that took him there and his decision to flush, hoping that would release him.

Eventually, another of our group visited the facility. Bill requested assistance. Soon, our entire group was in the room. Everyone was a sergeant and none a private but a plan was devised. The tallest member was lifted over the stall door to release the inside door latch. This took two attempts. It took three men pulling to get Bill unstuck. Had alcohol not been involved, the operation might have been conducted quietly.

Those in need used the facility while Bill got himself organized. When all were gathered at the table, the bartender came over with the bill and a request to find another establishment to patronize.

Since then, I have always been leery of mechanical devices in sanitary facilities.

Frugal or Cheap???

Dirty Al, former Blanket Head, Charter Boat Captain, bail bondsman, repossession agent, and the best car salesman I’ve ever known, has been having some hard years. Major health problems, family problems, financial problems, friends dying and an ugly and unfounded accusation in a local unsolved crime have taken their toll. During it all, he has remained upbeat and has never quit. He is also cheap. I’ve accused him of still having his third grade lunch money.

Within a month he should receive a tidy sum of money; enough to last him whatever years he has left. He has decided to put a new windshield in his thirty year old Geo Metro and paint one fender with a spray paint can. He asked me if I think using two cans is extravagant. I told him not if he didn’t use masking tape but masking tape plus two cans is extravagant.

This is a lame post. So much of the news and HOPEANDCHANGE is depressing, I need to find something upbeat and humorous. I’m so happy for Dirty Al. We go back a long ways and have always had each other’s backs.

For older Dirty Al Post go to:

http://wellseasonedfool.blogspot.com/search?q=dirty+al

http://wellseasonedfool.blogspot.com/search?q=dirty+al&updated-max=2009-01-24T23%3A34%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=20