Murphy’s Law has a post, “Why can’t the whole world drive like I do?”
http://lagniappeslair.blogspot.com/2012/04/why-cant-whole-world-just-drive-like-i.html
Brought back a fond memory. Some background.
The infamous S curves on I-405 through Renton, WA has a Southbound on ramp that is tough to use as, unlike California, folks in the Pacific Northwest won’t let you merge. You will, by God, fall in behind them even when traffic is stop and go. Those who use this on ramp know that after two or three stop and go’s, the way opens up and you get up to speed.
At the time I was driving an old ex Hanford Nuclear Plant Dodge D-150 with thick steel plate bumpers. It was a beauty, with not a single panel without a dent, paint coming off in patches, and assorted scrapes. I never bothered to register it, the plates on it were never issued to it, and the tabs were to yet another plate. If stopped, I would give the officer my business card, explain the vehicle was a trade in (not a lie, it had been traded in two years ago) that I was driving as a demo. Since I always had my personal insurance, I was more or less legal, being in the car business.
One day I was merging on I-405. There was a shiny Green Buick with Oregon plates (home of the worse asshat drivers anywhere) who wasn’t going to let me get in front of him. I continued to merge. Finally, he realized I didn’t give a shit if we collided and he backed off. For the next quarter mile he had his window down giving me the Hawaiian peace and love signal and laying on his horn. Timing the stop and go sequence, I waited for the last one, shifted into reverse, and modified the front of his Buick. Accelerating down the now open road, saw him in my mirror limping to the shoulder with coolant gushing out of his now flattened front end.
If more drivers drove like I do, we would have many more polite drivers sharing the road, don’t you think?
Damn, I loved that truck. My employer absolutely forbid me parking it in the “Reserved for the Salesman of the Month” parking spot. I didn’t want the new demo, not at a income rate of 1 ½% of the M.S.R.P. added to my taxable income.
8 comments:
This reminds me of one of my many beaters I had. It was a 78 Chevy Impala wagon. The thing weighed 4200 pounds.....I feared nothing driving it!! It was superb at plowing through those early morning snow drifts that the snow plows hadn't gotten to.
It was perfect for carrying my music gear as I was actively in bands at the time. The kids refused to get in the thing because they were too embarrassed to ride in it. The paint was dull and it was a bit rough around the edges.
I would trap them every now and then I show up at school to pick them up at some function or another....I LOVED the look of dread their faces showed!
We often talk about those days, of course now they see the humor in the evil things I did!
LOL, somehow I'm NOT surprised... :-) And I've often wished for my buddies 1957 Desoto... all for corners wrinkled and he LOVES driving it in town!
@ Scotty I'm still embarrassing my children; and still driving beaters.
@ NFO I would rather inspire fear than envy. I made my last car payment around 1984.
"@ Scotty I'm still embarrassing my children; and still driving beaters."
I was still driving beaters until a few years ago. My last one was a Ford Ranger PU I bought from the town auction for 1300 bux and the AC was still working! It was retired from the fire department....
We haven't had the need for a second car for a while now and Momma ain't drivin' NO beaters! Every now and then I wish had kept the Ranger but, I enjoyed the look of excitement in the kid's eyes that bought it from me....
My kids are a few miles away, one is 600 miles away and the other 1300 miles away, so distance helps to save them from further embarrassment I would heap upon them! But, I do my best during our visits!!
Even your "beaters" deserve better. You have ALWAYS been fashion forward on your automobiles and the only person I know who puts reflective tape on the back of his vehicles to warn the motoring public. Oh, OK, I have talked about doing the same thing but have never gotten around to it. Maybe trying to stay incognito has something to do with it.
Sisty
@ Sisty Nah, you are too cheap to buy some and you haven't found any lying around.
I resemble those remarks.
Sisty
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