Lost keys are the biggest irritant in
running a car dealership. Next are keys locked in vehicles. A Momma Fargo blog
started this trip down memory lane.
http://mommafargo.blogspot.com/2017/06/ode-to-jeff.html
For years a “slim jim” was the tool of
choice to open many cars and trucks. As years passed, locking systems became
more sophisticated. With money you can buy tools that work. Knowledge to use
them, not so much.
So here is the “Frank the Tank” surefire
way to open a car. You need a 4” nylon wedge. Nylon, because it doesn’t scratch
paint. Next, a Snap On inflatable bladder. Last, a stout 4’ aluminum rod made
for the purpose.
Start at the top of the door at the B
pillar. Use the wedge to slightly bend out the door and work the bladder
between the door and the frame. Inflate the bladder. Push the wedge in as far as
possible, deflate the bladder, and work it in further.
Keep repeating these
steps until you have a large enough gap to insert the rod. Use the rod to push
on electric door lock buttons or work it to pull on the door latch. I’ve opened
every brand of car I needed this way.
Electronics have made car security much
better and, as usual, more expensive. Replacing the keys and remotes on a high
end European car is an $800+ proposition and may require a trip to the dealer.
One strategy is to enter your key code on
your smart phone which can speed up the process. If Murphy is your pal, it will
be locked in your car with your keys.
Back in the day I violated one of my “words
to live by – don’t date someone crazier than yourself” by dating a policewoman.
Worse, she worked in the precinct our dealership operated. I was her go to
guy when she needed something unlocked. Could have done without the Mustang
with a three day old dead body inside. Furthermore, she might have been on shift at
0300 but I was asleep. What a man will do for……………
My own vehicles? Hide A Key magnetic
holder. Yah, yah, the thieves know where to look. They will find it eventually,
emphasis on eventually, but few will spend that much time. I have enough brain
farts in the course of a year to use up my four AAA calls.
Another handy tool for the car lot. Don’t
be Eric.
“Look at this nice Explorer I just stole”
(under allowed on the trade) bragged Eric the new car desk man as he pulled the
trade onto the used car lot from the new car store across the street.
“Hope you did”, I replied. “Not a lot of
call for 2wd Explorers”.
“Nooooooo”, says Eric, famous for taking
in trades with no catalytic converters.
Free tip. Always examine the underside of
anything you are buying.
One last story. Once worked one day a
week at a big car auction. The guy who was the top dog was an asshole’s
asshole. One day he got in my face. Nothing I did wrong, the car was junk and
broke down in the lane. Knowing it was my last day, put all the keys to a
Mercedes down a PortaPotty on my way out. No one who knows me from the car biz
will be surprised.
