Thursday, November 16, 2017

Confession of a Latter Day Luddite

As someone who resists new technologies and grudging learns the minimum skills necessary, my aversion doesn’t prevent me from staying alive.

CPAP

Been using one since 1995. My sister and other relatives believe untreated sleep apnea complications killed my father at age 64.

For several reasons I took the test at home. Ghastly, no one told me about shaving the areas the electrodes were glued to. The next afternoon the physician who ran the sleep clinic called and insisted I immediately come to his office. I demurred, and he became so insistent he threatened to send an ambulance and police officers. OK, I went in.

The meeting proceeded along these lines.

“You have sleep apnea. In fact, you have the worst case I’ve ever seen. I’m amazed you are still functioning.”

He followed up with a screen showing my test results. Sensing he wasn’t getting through to me, he elaborated.

“Fool, I predict you will, within the next six months, have a major medical episode. It may be today, it may be next month, but it will happen within six months. If you are lucky, it will kill you. More likely you will be left severely disabled. You do have someone who can give you skilled nursing care 24 hours a day, don’t you?”

Damn, wished I could hire him as a salesman for our car lot!

“No”, was my reply. “And my options would be?”

I slept with a CPAP that night, and have ever since.

As an aside, CPAPs are a pain in the ass. You just do it.

Three years ago I developed brandycardia, a condition where your heartbeat is so slow insufficient blood flows to the brain and you faint. Ended up with a pacemaker. The second item in the picture is a pacemaker monitor. Using a tablet and WiFi, my pacemaker can be monitored from home.

 Once a year, the cardiologists wants to see me in her office. Otherwise, every three months the check can be done from home with the device.

This contraption required I purchase a tablet, and a Red Bull double latte with ++++ as a bribe to my sister’s adopted daughter who is my techie. She got the app downloaded and installed on the tablet. After only three or four tries, I’m able to use the devices and complete the test.

I don’t use the tablet for any other purposes. My sister says it is a mini computer. Surely she is correct, and surely I don’t give a rat’s ass.

It is probable I still have PTSD from using MS-DOS in the 70’s.

The smart phone needed for my employment has bazillion apps. I use four or five, grudgingly.

Still haven’t programmed the remote for the flat screen TV recently purchased and seldom watched.


In summary, I learn just enough to get by and stay alive. Probably speaks to lack of character and perseverance. Like I give a shit.

17 comments:

Old NFO said...

Nah, you're just smarter than we are... You're not chasing the 'technology' trends. And I'd RATHER us MS-DOS... sigh

OldAFSarge said...

Probably speaks to lack of character and perseverance. Like I give a shit.

I get that, I really do.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Learned enough to calculate span loads on skylights. The Texas Instrument handheld would do the math but wouldn't hold the load data for twelve different extrusions.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Probably why my daughter in law refers to me as GOB (grumpy old bastard).

drjim said...

My take is......Look At All The Money You've Saved!!

If I had all the money back I've dumped down the newer, better, faster rabbit hole, I'd HAVE that 1967 Corvette Coupe I lust after!

Anonymous said...

Don't forget you little nimble fingers when dealing with buttons on technology.

Sisty

Well Seasoned Fool said...

You do sarcasm sooo well.

Coffeypot said...

Living is important, and doing what ever is required is just as important. Without living, life would suck. So keep on keeping on. I like having you around.

Anonymous said...

It's a gift.

Sisty

Well Seasoned Fool said...

OK, thank you (I think).

It's.a.crazy.world said...

I think all these confounded contraptions do you some good, but your orneriness is what really keep you going...... just sayin ~ with love, of course. :-)

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Ornery? Stubborn? Me? Perish the thought.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

That keeps on giving.

Brig said...

Yay, keep on keeping on with whatever it takes, the alternative may not be as brilliant as they say it is...

Anonymous said...

"It is probable I still have PTSD from using MS-DOS in the 70’s."
Doggonnit, give us a spew warning! I hate cleaning good whiskey off my keyboard.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

A tragedy to be sure.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Indeed.