Memories of Tempos and Deutschland
mechanics were brought to mind by Old AFSarge.
Had a customer one day from Dutch Harbor,
Alaska who had exactly $10,000 cash to spend on a new 4x4 vehicle. Angel was 4’
something built like a barrel with two short legs and a baritone voice. Took me
a minute to figure out she was a female.
As with any customer I treated her with
respect and courtesy. She had earned the $10,000 working the summer season on a
fish processing boat. The boat was in Seattle and would take her vehicle back
to Dutch Harbor.
The problem was no 4x4 truck, new, was
near her price point. She wouldn’t consider used. We were the fifth dealership
she had visited. At the time I was on loan to the Mitsubishi/RV Store but had
access to all our lines What she bought was an all wheel drive Tempo with the
Zibart aftermarket rust proofing package. As I recall the final price was just
under $10,000.
I loved selling Tempos. The buyers were
mainly practical people who simply wanted uncomplicated transportation. The
world’s best no brainer car. Priced right, great lease programs, etc. Ford had
a ‘Value added discount’ just over $600 that included A/C. Used that to sell
Tempos to Chinese.
“Need BIG discount!”
“Yes sir, see we have already put a HUGE
discount right in the window. Do you like this color?”
Perhaps the best part, for me, was Tempos
were reliable and trouble free (except the damn two door model). Very few
complaints and warranty claims. While rarely a big gross, the transactions were fast, got me back on the floor, and padded my numbers for the month. At
that time eighteen plus sales put your washout check in the six figure range.
Alles ist in Ordnung, ja?
Stationed in Germany, I became the 10th
or so owner of a Ford Angelia (and a set of PX tools). One day in Koblenz an
oil leak developed. This was pre spin on oil filters days and the gasket was
shot.
Walked to a nearby Ford dealership and presented the mangled filter to
the parts counter man. He promptly found an exact replacement. Then I fucked
up. He asked me what kind of car I had and I told him an Angelia.
He snatched the filter away and
proceeded,
"Das ist für einen deutschen Ford.
Nicht für eine englische Ford"
The son of a bitch wouldn’t sell it to
me. My buddy pulled me out of the place before I inflicted grievous body harm
(not out of kindness – I was his ride back to Hanau) and we went to a nearby
beer emporium to consider options.
At the time your beer was placed on a
thick cardboard coaster. They would mark each round on the coaster and then
collect when you left.
Looking at that nice thick coaster, I
channeled my inner farm boy, got another coaster, and cut out a gasket. Worked
perfectly.
My buddy physically restrained me from
going back to the Ford place and shoving the remains of the coaster down the
parts man throat while saying,
"Ja, Arschloch. Dies ist ein
amerikanischer Soldat-Dichtung. Deshalb haben wir den Krieg gewonnen. Wir
halten nicht unsere Esel unseren Köpfen."
Not that I was that fluent in German.
The Anglica was replaced by, if memory
serves on the manufactured year, a 1956 Plymouth. It was tri-colored combining
the colors of these two pictures.
The soldier’s cars of that time
represented the epitome of ingenuity to repair and keep running. When someone
made E-4, he bought a car. When he rotated, he sold it. Prices were from $50 to
$200. They did require a safety inspection from the Provost garage. PX gas was
only 50 octane so tuning became an issue. No matter how bizarre they looked,
they were a step up from a fahrrad.
4 comments:
The four wheeled tractors were the Muskovitch autos. The DDR exported a few and they were cheap (in all respects).
Good enough, comrade.
Oh yeah, deployment cars... $50 and you hoped to hell you could keep them running!
On the plus side, keeping them running kept you out of the bars. Ate up time and money.
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