Recent days have found me traveling down mental paths I’ve rarely traveled. This isn’t something I’m trying to do. Rather, the memories come unbidden and are events from the past I haven’t thought about in years.
An example. Working at a Ford dealership along with some thirty other salespeople was a woman who hated me. Why I didn’t know, and didn’t care, as she was one of many who envied my success. One day my wife had brought me something and this woman cornered her and fed her several lies about my actions with other women (which were strictly business – I was a faithful husband). My wife, rather than immediately confronting me, let these lies fester for weeks before bring them up with me. Why, thirty five years later, do I remember this in detail?
Another trip down memory lane is even older, a trivial event from my Army enlistment. No blood, guts, gore, or even danger and too boring to detail here. Yet, it moved through my mind for a couple of hours.
I haven’t felt like blogging or even commenting on other’s blogs. Please, no mistake, I read each and every one completely even to following links.
Current rants are on Facebook along with memes taken from other bloggers, especially LL. Most rants are just a few lines.
Two ideas about why I’m experiencing these memories have occurred to me.
The first is I’m angry beyond belief about the election and the direction the country is headed. What level is my responsibility for fucking up my grandchildren and great grandchildren’s future?
The second is my mind is putting my affairs in order. Much like I have wills and legal documents waiting for when I shuffle off, maybe there is a need for “mental estate” planning. Weird thought, no?
My health is generally good. Blood pressure is, if anything, on the low side. Under my primary care provider, I’m slowly eliminating or greatly decreasing prescription medications. I walk twice a day, weather permitting, and alcohol consumption is one 8 oz glass of red wine in the evening and 4 oz of Amaretto before bedtime. All my blood test results have my primary care Doc smiling.
So, am I getting ready to check out? I hope not, but I don’t fear it.
If you have come this far, please understand I’m not seeking sympathy. If anything, this is an apology for not being more engaging with other bloggers.