Hearty Congratulations

Congratulations to a young friend of mine who is marking his second year of sobriety today. It hasn't been easy. His father and older siblings may be his inspiration for what not to emulate.

It is a joy to see he and his pretty wife doing well and enjoying life. Here is hoping for many more years of success for them.

Stereotyping

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.

No, seriously! It really did happen.

Dating After Divorce

Dating after the end of a twenty two year marriage was difficult for me. Some of the “dates” were scary. I’ve been challenged to tell at least one dating story.

Friends invited me to a country western bar, the Silver Spur, to be exact. The promise was an introduction to one of their friends who would meet us there. The evening went as planned and their friend was easy on the eyes. She also drank much more than the rest of the group. As the evening winded down, she asked me to drive her home as she had a couple of DUIs and couldn’t risk another. Anticipation?

She gave me the name of the Mobile Home Estate where she lived. I knew the place. As we drove there, she passed out. When we arrived, I couldn’t get her to wake up. I finally went into her purse and found an address on some mail. Using that I found her unit. The keys in her purse unlocked the door. Now what? Did she live alone? Was a husband/boyfriend/significant other going to come out of a back bedroom and blow me away? She had a porch with two lawn chairs. I fireman carried her from the car and deposited her in one of the chairs. Still out.

Finally, I tossed her purse and keys inside and left her sitting there. It was summer so she wouldn’t freeze. Sitting up, should she vomit, there was a good chance she wouldn’t choke. Yes, chivalry was dead.

Never spoke to her again. The sad part of the story is, that was my best date that month.

Alcohol and Drugs Whine

With age comes wisdom, so the adage goes. Why then, at age 65, am I clueless in dealing with alcohol and drug use? Not myself, I quit alcohol in my early thirties for five years. Since then, no more than one of two drinks at a time. No drugs since my twenties. Dealing with others is my problem.

Substance abuse damage is everywhere in my life. Children, children's significant others, sibling's significant others, meth babies, cousins, ex wife, parent, neighbors, friends, and good friend's family members are all caught up in lifestyles involving alcohol and/or drugs. I am blessed that none have killed anyone or themselves with a vehicle. The financial costs are considerable. The emotional damage? Who knows, only that hurts are deep and long lasting.

During my many years in the retail automobile field, I worked for, with, and employed numerous drunks and dopers. I was rarely successful in doing much more than damage control with these individuals. In 2009, six men and one woman I've worked with died. All but one had alcohol and drug issues.

People have been abusing substances since prehistory and will continue long after I am gone. My need is to cope, without ripping my guts out, when it involves people I deeply care for. I continue to study and learn, to seek answers, and hope for wisdom.

End of the pity party. One thing I've learned that works, for me, is to get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other. Keep on trucking.