Thank God and Greyhound

SUZ has started a Meme, “The top 25 on my play list”.

http://shiningpearlsofsomething.blogspot.com/2011/12/meme-no-really.html

My contribution? Just one. Roy Clark, “Thank God and Greyhound You’re Gone”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx8x3LCnYZw

This story starts when my wife of twenty two years left me for another man, and moved out of state, leaving me the two youngest to raise. My standard joke, in absolute seriousness, is I wanted to send him a thank you card but feared he would send her back.

Forward a year and half later, she is back visiting. She was staying with our oldest, who lived on his own. Her wealthy paramour turned out to be all hat and no cattle. She came to visit on Greyhound and had no money for a rental car. I had loaned her a car, which she started abusing, so I put and end to that. Finally, she decided to go back to whatever she called home.

I agreed to take her to the Seattle Bus Depot. By the time I got her disorganized self there, my tolerance factor had nearly been eclipsed by her nuisance factor.

The depot was the usual zoo. One individual caught my attention. He was wearing a leather vest over a bare torso and flexing his muscles. Maybe had 18 inch “guns”.

The bus was oversold. She had two metal trunks and miscellaneous soft bags. The bus driver, already late, didn’t want to board her. Said he had to have a least two empty seats. I pointed out her luggage. I told him I would follow him clear across Washington State. At some point he would have to let her on. Then he could load her luggage. As an alternative, he could let her on, and I would load the luggage. He liked my alternative. After loading her trunks, I could see her in the bus struggling to stuff her other bags in the overhead luggage rack. Boarding the bus, I went to her seat and stuffed the damn bags into the rack. Going up the isle, I passed the gentlemen with the leather vest sitting in an aisle seat. He made himself small as I passed. Hmm, a six foot 280 pound red faced Celt, in a T Shirt, with 22 inch “guns”, and a most unpleasant visage, might have prompted him to avoid a confrontation.

The bus departed and I followed. Once Eastbound on I-90, I passed him and then exited on I-405 but pulled onto the shoulder. I wanted to see the bus go by by. As I waited, I put “Thank God and Greyhound” in the tape deck. Enjoying the moment, I was whooping and pounding the dash as the bus rolled by. Right then a Washington State Patrolman was at my window.

After the license, registration, insurance formality, I explained the situation to the officer. His question, “Have you been drinking” brought the answer, “No, but in about fifteen minutes I will be”. He lost his professional demeanor, leaned against my truck, and started laughing. A few minutes later I was on my way and he on his. As promised, fifteen minutes later I was making sure a few cold Rainiers weren’t getting stale.

That song will probably always be my favorite.