Friday, December 23, 2011

The Sad Story of "Dead Dog" Fred

Two readers have been asking for another car lot story. Decided to relate the sad fate of Freddy “Dead Dog” Dayo.

Freddy could make a very realistic sound of a hurt dog. He and another miscreant salesman had a routine when things got boring. Freddy would crouch down behind a row of cars and start yelping. His partner in mischief, Flea, would rush up and down calling, “Muffy, where are you"? Soon, the green peas would be helping find Muffy and lose focus, allowing the veterans to beat them to fresh “ups.” The managers started calling Fred “dead dog” (when they were in a good mood).

Freddy wasn’t know for his reliability. Once he broke his arm. When he called his sales manager to be excused from work, he was told, “Fuck you, Dayo. I want to see the X-rays, not the cast.” When he finally arrived at work, the owner sympathetically asked, “Hey Fred, want to arm wrestle.”?

His passion, aside from loose living, was steelhead fishing. He lived to fish.

One day his ship came in. While driving a T Top Firebird from one lot to another, the glass T Tops shattered, showering him with glass. He was so horrible injured, he couldn’t raise his arms above shoulder level. Happily, he was able to start drawing Workman’s Compensation.

About that time, the State Labor and Industries managers hired private investigators to start checking out the “injured” drawing tax free state money.
Freddy was the star of a video showing him lugging coolers, balanced on his shoulder, up and down steep river banks. The video showed his fantastic form casting lures.

Alas, his ship hit a reef. He was given six months to pay back every cent he had received from the state. When he put his mind to it, he was an effective salesman and paid the state back in the allotted time. Then the IRS hit him for the “tax free” money he received. Poor Freddy! For about ten months he had to work his butt off.

No moral here or purpose other than a requested story.


Unknown said...

And a good story it was. Thanks!

Old NFO said...

There IS a moral, do good work and you can make a living, screw off, and you WILL get caught!

Scotty said...

Ahhhh....T-tops. Like RV's there are three kinds.

1. Those that will leak

2. Those that have leaked

3. Those that ARE leaking

Well Seasoned Fool said...

@ Suz Glad you enjoyed it.

@ NFO Good point!

@ Scotty You are on the mark. Plus, with Firebird/Camero, they fill the trunk.