Thursday, December 8, 2016

Officer Dickhead Meets Citizen Hothead


Yeah, got a citation and almost got a trip to jail. Not a good sign when two more patrol cars join the one who stopped you with the blue and reds.

0250, Temp -8°F, clear sky, no moon, enroute to work, and came upon an accident. Street blocked by a patrol car and flares. In my town there are just three North-South arterials separated by eight to eleven blocks East to West. OK, divert into the parking lot of a sprawling shopping center and come back to my original route. Street still blocked but very slowly I moved around various vehicles and continued on my way. Some yoyo had taken out a power pole and left approximately 5,300 homes without electricity. 

Five blocks later get lit up with the reds and blues plus about a dozen LEDs. Pull over and things got ugly.

Not being a stranger to discussing my driving habits with the long arm of the law, got out my card case with my driver license, turned on the interior light, rolled down my window, and put my hands on the steering wheel.
A very agitated young officer comes to the window and starts off with,

“Do you know what emergency lights are for?”

“Yes”, I replied “That is why I pulled over”.

The interaction gets into my driving through the accident scene, where am I going (to work), where is my job (give address) and alternate route I could have taken. Then he takes my license, insurance card, hands back my registration, and goes back to his patrol unit. As I wait various other patrol units come and go. Twenty minutes goes by before he comes back. Twenty fucking minutes that makes me more and more pissed off.

Now I’m a full grown man who has never ducked responsibility for my actions. If I’m wrong, write me a citation and send me on my way. No argument from me; that is what courts are for. Making me wait twenty minutes while he dicks around with the other officers, knowing I’m on my way to work, is uncalled for.

Finally he comes back. In addition to the citation, he proceeds to motherfuck me some more.

 My LEO relatives have a policy, either and ass chewing or a citation, never both.

 I have no patience, a character flaw to be sure, am a grumpy old man, and have about a ten second fuse. I tell the pissant badge happy asshole his making me wait twenty minutes is rude and unprofessional. At this point I haven’t used any profanity. He then says heatedly,

“I think you are unprofessional. You could have killed a cop back there”.

“Oh, bullshit!” , I replied. “Furthermore, go fuck yourself”.

We exchange a few more unpleasantries and then he tells me to leave.

I have always tried to speak politely to police officers. I expect the same from them. That said, I don’t, and never will, meekly accept shit from anyone, no matter who they are. I also don’t care about the 4 points and $155. I can afford it, and will torture them in court before they collect. Been there, done that with about a .800 winning average.

My core value? I will die on my feet before I will live on my knees.


That said, I believe I will drive my other vehicle to work tomorrow, just saying.

13 comments:

  1. You really know how to win friends and influence people, don't ya. I should know because I recognize the same qualities in myself. But before I pulled off, I would have to tell him it is safe to put the bullet back in his shirt pocket, now.

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  2. safe to put the bullet back in his shirt pocket, now.

    ROFLMAO

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  3. Win some, lost that one (so far)... Good luck and don't blame ya for changing vehicles! :-)

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    1. From time to time let my mouth overload my ass. Just the way I roll.

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  4. I have no idea why the officer behaved the way he did. Some people are assholes and there's no other way to look at it.

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    1. I put LEOs into two categories, Peace Officers and cops. The first have my highest regard. The second, not so much.

      I went back and checked my records. In a previous blog I mentioned my son being approached in a drive thru lane at a Taco Bell at 1:30 am by a cop a on the basis of, "You look suspicious". Kind of our hick town version of stop and frisk. Sure enough it was the same officer.

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  5. You'll have to update us after you go to court. Wonder if you can bring up the Taco Bell incident.

    We've run into asshole cops, too. But fortunately, most of the ones I've met fall into the hero category.

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    1. Don't need to take care of it until February.

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  6. Oh, I am sorry you had that experience. Yes...ass chewing or citation is the general rule. I hate asshole cops.

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    1. Makes the job much harder for the Peace Officers. I got the citation but he walked away all butthurt. Hope he learned something.

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    2. Makes the job much harder for the Peace Officers. I got the citation but he walked away all butthurt. Hope he learned something.

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